Check One Off the “To Do Before I Die” List

So today I venture to Hawaii. My excitement is overwhelming. We are staying on Oahu near the North Shore. I hear it is all the hype.

There I plan on attempting a variety of things that I have never had the opportunity to do — well, never had the opportunity to do and just been plain fearful of. I’m talking about facing my fear of the great big ocean and going snorkling, swimming with dolphins, and learning to surf. It’s safe to say this is a trip about firsts for me and I cannot wait to one day share my experiences with a family of my own. I only wish that my family now would be as explorative as myself and step out of their own boundaries.

You don’t know…

You don’t know what it’s like to be completely vulnerable and have someone rip your heart out.

You don’t know what it’s like to watch as someone else moves in on the person you loved, with ease.

You don’t know what it’s like to drink yourself to sleep every night just so you don’t have to dream about the pain.

You don’t know what it’s like to feel so alive yet so lost.

You don’t know how it feels to trust another with your deepest thoughts and be laughed at.

You don’t know how it feels to stare into your cold eyes and get nothing in return.

You don’t know how much I loved you.

My One True Broken Heart

I confess I wasn’t the best.
I confess that I made mistakes.
It changes nothing.
There will always be pieces of you inside of me.
The memories of your trust in me; leaving your heart with me.
Giving my heart to you.
Always remembering the first time I looked into your eyes.
Knowing something great was set in motion.
Sharing laughs, tears, fears, and pleasure.
My sensitive soul gives in to see you be happy and free.
But to never look into those eyes the same.
I confess I wasn’t quite ready to be left.
You will forever be my one true broken heart.

- Goodbye